Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Cruising The Caliphate

Many of you have gently chided me in the past for being too hard on Glenn Greenwald, whose readership vastly outnumbers mine, and who is professionally employed by the corporate media. So I seriously doubt that I'm doing more than just bouncing BBs off Greenwald's site. But today I put down my tiny air rifle and side with Glenn, as he's known to busy libloggers everywhere, for he's under whacked-out reactionary assault, and tactical differences are petty in the face of such rabid fear and ugliness.

It seems that Glenn upset a certain Dan Collins, a contributor to Protein Wisdom, which is part of the well-adjusted Pajamas Media family, with the reasonable, scarcely-shocking observation that the Muslim hordes will not turn the U.S. into a Caliphate, and that right-wingers generally over-inflate this supposed threat for obvious political reasons. Of course, being the all-American hetero-warrior he doubtless is, Collins responded with "Hey, Faggot," then crossed out "Faggot" (though you can still read it) and wrote "Stupid" instead.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it? I'll give you a moment to finish your laughing jag before I continue.

In the comments area, Collins later "explained" that his "joke" had nothing to do with Glenn being gay, but with Glenn being stupid. Which is why Collins used "Faggot" in the first place -- it was the set-up to the actual punch line. Now, had the punch line been "Faggot," perhaps Glenn would have a legitimate beef. As it stands, Glenn is just being a whiny stupid moron-face who's stupid and dumb and a moron.

And you thought Dennis Miller had the reactionary open mike to himself.

Collins' post inspired like-minded trogs to deluge Glenn with abusive e-mails of their own, one of which Glenn shares. It's the typical far-right fantasy of seeing liberals begging their Muslim masters for mercy before the butcher knife cuts into their throats -- a fantasy that many trogs appear to really get off on. Who do you imagine watches beheading videos online? Liberal faggots? Please. They couldn't handle such seriously hot action. But for swivel-chair commandos, it's all in a day's viewing, and don't be stingy with the banana oil, bro.

None of this should surprise anyone. America is filled with people like Dan Collins, some of whom may be in your own families. I recall a relative of mine arguing in favor of extensive war in the Middle East, saying that if we didn't bomb the Arabs into submission, they would come over here and "fuck us in the ass." That's a direct quote, by the way. I remember that line well because I had no real come back to it. I mean, what do you say to that: "To the contrary, they won't fuck us in the ass"? Not exactly Oxford debate material. Still, the rightwing fascination with homosexual rape and queer-tinged scenarios in general says more about their confused psyches than the actual politics of the real world. I've run into this time and time again. Hell, twenty years ago I heard similar violent and gay-oriented rhetoric from the ex-Dartmouth Review editors and writers I had gotten to know. Back then, it was the Sandinistas who wanted to fuck us in the ass. You'd think that the U.S. has the most tantalizing rear the planet has ever seen, given how many countries desire cramming their dark, uncircumcised pricks deep inside our cheeks. This is why we must kill them before they drop their pants and pull out the bad news. Call it the Tucker Carlson school of international diplomacy.

Ah well. When you live in a madhouse, the screams of the berserk are unavoidable. Just watch your backside, Glenn. Your rightist critics may seek to fuck you before you can fuck them. It's how a patriot truly acts.